A TEXT POST

rachelovesklaine:

Cards Against Humanity is where you learn which of your friends are basic and which ones are sociopaths there is no in between

A VIDEO

niehaus-vause:

you can see her accent

Reblogged from hello
A VIDEO

wookieeoftheyear:

king-in-yellow:

hopephd:

Seizure First Aid. 

Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it. 

100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)

I wish I would have seen this a couple of days ago because a gentleman had a seizure in my store yesterday and only a couple of people knew how to respond. This is good information to know.

Reblogged from Dog Appreciation Blog
A VIDEO

parkingstrange:

giant-tic-tac:

liqhters:

My best friend sent me this tutorial of her doing her eyebrows and I thought you all would find it useful xoxo

Im dead

this is amazing

Reblogged from oprah was here
A PHOTO
Reblogged from Dreamer
A TEXT POST

nebroska:

nebroska:

does anyone remember the movie where the teenage boy was actually a mermaid or did i hallucinate it

image

I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS OH MY GOD

Reblogged from BACK-IN-BLACK
A PHOTO

deadguy95:

i hope taylor swift looks at this everyday

Reblogged from nyoom
A PHOTO

confessionsofadirectioner:

This will always be one of my favourite posts.

Reblogged from HIYA
A PHOTO

lolatprolife:

tabloid-lover:

jamietheundeadamerican:

iwillmindfuckyou:

kneel-on-nails:

forever-kitten:

Damn son our uterus stretches like 5x the size and then contracts and pushes a 7 pound baby out of a small tube into life if you think that isn’t metal as fuck get out of my face

YOUR ORGANS THOUGH IM SO SORRY LADIES

damn selfish babies taking up all the space

NAW MAN, LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT PREGNANCY AND BABIES, ALRIGHT?

FIRST OF ALL, IT SUCKS DICK. FIRST OFF LET ME GIVE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING RUNDOWN ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T EAT OR DRINK WHEN YOU’RE PREGNANT.

  • SUSHI
  • EGGS
  • NO UNCOOKED ANYTHING IN FUCKING GENERAL ACTUALLY. AND ESPECIALLY NOT FISH.
  • ANYTHING WITH CAFFEINE IN IT, WHICH INCLUDES COFFEE, SODA, CHOCOLATE (THAT’S RIGHT, NO CHOCOLATE), SEVERAL TYPES OF COOKIES AND CANDIES, AND ENERGY DRINKS.
  • VEGETABLES AND MEATS THAT ARE RICH IN NITRATES LIKE HOTDOGS, SAUSAGE, LETTUCE, SPINACH AND CELERY.

SO BASICALLY IF YOU’RE USED TO EATING OR DRINKING ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO QUIT COLD TURKEY THE SECOND YOU GET PREGNANT.

NOW I’M NOT EVEN DONE. YOU SEE THAT PINK UPSIDE-DOWN TRIANGLE BELOW THE BABY’S HEAD? YEAH? THAT’S YOUR BLADDER. BABIES SQUEEZE DOWN ON THAT LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW AND ONCE YOU HIT THE THIRD TRIMESTER, YOU BASICALLY HAVE AN ELDERLY PERSON’S BLADDER. MY MOTHER TELLS ME SHE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT LEAST 6 TIMES A DAY JUST SO SHE WOULDN’T WET HERSELF. ALSO WITH A BABY SQUEEZING’ UP AGAINST YOUR FUCKING INTESTINES LIKE THAT SAY HELLO TO CONSTIPATION NATION, EVERYONE.

SO NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE THE BLADDER AND BOWELS OF AN OLD PERSON, BUT THAT GROWING HUMAN BEING GROWING OUT OF YOUR GULLET ALSO PUTS A HUUUUGE STRAIN ON YOUR BACK. NOT TO MENTION IT’S A PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS TO MOVE ANYWHERE, SINCE YOU NEED TO START WALKING LIKE SOMEONE OUT OF A MONTY PYTHON SKIT JUST TO GET AROUND EFFICIENTLY. ALSO THAT ADDED WEIGHT MAKES YOUR FEET ACHE SOMETHING AWFUL. SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

WELL GUESS WHAT. YOU CAN’T TAKE ASPRIN. ABSOLUTELY NO ASPRIN. NO IBUPROFEN, NO NAPROXEN NO NOTHING. 

SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU IN PROBABLY THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE YOU WILL EVER BE, BUT YOUR MEDICINE CHOICES ARE EXTREMELY FUCKING LIMITED. (AND NO, I MENTIONED NO CHOCOLATE EITHER.)

DO YOU GUYS NOT REALIZE THAT THE FATE OF SOCIETY AND THE HUMAN RACE IN GENERAL IS BASED ON THE FACT THAT WOMEN MOSTLY CHOOSE TO GET PREGNANT? FOR LITTLE TO NO REWARD?! THE UNITED STATES ONLY GIVES 12 UNPAID WEEKS OF MATERNITY LEAVE ON AVERAGE. 

YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE FUCKING PROCESS BY WHICH OUR POPULATION CONTINUES TO GROW WOULD BE FUCKING REWARDED AND CELEBRATED, NOT SWEPT UNDER THE FUCKING RUG LIKE A PIECE OF FUCKING DUST.

/RANT OVER

Greatest rant ever.

But nah, pregnancy is just an “inconvenience”

-Katey

Reblogged from HIYA
A TEXT POST

bonesandblades1:

It’s really fucked that we can just say we puked or we have a sore throat and stay home from school but we can’t say I’m too sad to go to school or I want to jump off a bridge and school isn’t the best place for me right now. Mental illnesses are just as serious as any physical illness.

Parents need to realize this.
Reblogged from The Seance